Has anyone seen the movie Rampage?! If this movie doesn’t win all the Oscars what are we even doing anymore. I’m sure you are saying, that I am insane. Let me explain. I love bad Sci-Fi movies. The stranger the premise, the more likely I am in. I have watched Geostorm like 15 times. Have you seen Geostorm? The movie where we have created a series of satellites over the Earth that help contain extreme weather. We didn’t try to fix climate change, we found a way to manipulate the weather instead. I love movies like this. Of course the satellites are being “controlled” and it’s up to bad movie maven Gerard Butler to solve it. Why him? Oh, he is the genius who created the weather controlling satellite system of course. But this blog is not about Geostorm. It’s about the masterpiece that is Rampage.
The Rock plays a former special forces military guy who is now a zoologist who specializes in primates and runs the San Diego Wildlife preserve. His best friend is an albino gorilla named George who knows sign language and is very funny. If you read those two sentences and don’t want to see this movie, then we can’t be friends. Someone a few years ago wrote that and I thought, ohhh man I have a hit movie on my hands. That person was right.
Meanwhile a tech company was doing illegal genetic testing in space, it had to be space, when a mouse goes insane and kills the crew and blows up the space station. The genetic altering material flies to Earth and of course lands next to George. This is the first ten minutes of the movie. It’s amazing. I think this movie was made for me. I have irrational love for The Rock. I have irrational love for bad Sci-Fi movies. It’s the perfect match. Add in a triple IPA from The Dancing Gnome and it was fantastic.
Much like in the Fast movie franchise, The Rock is a super hero. He survives: a plane crash, a helicopter crash, being shot, falling out of multiple buildings and fighting a giant wolf that flies and an alligator. THE MOVIE IS LIKE 97 MINUTES LONG. Really the missed opportunity in this movie was to give the rock the genetic mutation juice and have him grow to be 50 feet tall and take over the world. I have hopes for a sequel. In the end the rock teams up with George and help defeat the other animals.
The most ridiculous part of this movie, besides the giant flying wolf that eats people and helicopters, is Jeffrey Dean Morgan’s performance. He plays an NSA government agent that is trying to bring down the evil company behind the genetic testing. Only, no one told him he was not supposed to be playing Negan from The Walking Dead, or a comedic relief cowboy. At one point in the movie a military person basically says, “this is serious we must evacuate the city of Chicago,” and JDM responds with “I’m an old cowboy who likes to make jokes.”
I give this movie five stars on the entertainment and insanity scale. I think my son would love it. What six-year-old wouldn’t want to watch a giant gorilla, wolf and alligator do battle with the help of The Rock?! My son would be in.
Anyone have any other bad Sci-Fi recommendations?
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