I don’t want to steal the name parent corner from Bill Simmons, so I am sticking with calling this blog #Dadlife. Maybe I should call it “Hashtag Dad Life.” Every Wednesday will be #Dadlife Wednesday at Wintheweekends.com. Week one we tackled the second shift. Week two we tackled bed time insanity. Week three we are going to discuss daycare. Much like picking a cable provider, your options are limited, especially after you cut the cord.
I thought having a second mortgage through student loan payments was fun (It’s not), then came the third mortgage payment. DAYCARE. (Also not fun, but at least there isn’t interest) Before you have a kid everyone says it is expensive and of course parents would pay anything to make sure their child is safe, secure, and well cared for. Doesn’t make writing the check every month any less traumatic. I don’t recall having this extra money every month before having a kid. What did I spend it on happy hours and going out with my wife?
The one thing no one discusses about daycare is the constant sickness. My daughter was home with me all summer. Not one cold. Not one illness. Not even one runny nose. Three days back in daycare and boom, green runny snot everywhere. Does that sound gross? Good, because it was. IT WAS THREE DAYS. We couldn’t even make it one entire week without a sickness. Of course, putting 50+ kids in one large building or confined space is bound to cause issues. Still, it’s a good thing parents have sick days to use to stay home. Would it be weird for kids to decontaminate themselves when they leave daycare? You know like in a sci-fi movie when they say you have to shower and get clean. Why can’t they just pour hand sanitizer over them and then leave? Is that wrong? Probably. I keep hand sanitizer in the car and as soon as I pick up my children both have to clean their hands. It’s the least I can do, well it’s the only thing I can do. (At least until my daycare shower decontamination business takes off)
Packing my kid’s lunches is so tedious and difficult. I feel like they eat the same five things, because they are kids and only like five things. Then we have to consider the daycare rules. Last year they were not allowed to make a mac and cheese cup. WE HAD TO PRECOOK IT. Apparently, the 3:30 it took to make a mac and cheese cup was too long, but the one minute to reheat it was fine. They must save so much time not making those. My kids also only eat the toddler food groups (Yogurt, fruit, chicken, snacks, mac and cheese, pasta, snacks, gum, muffins, cookies, pizza, snacks, and did I mention snacks.) Feeding kids is the fun that never ends.
My Kids Monday: I LOVE TACOS.
My Kids Tuesday: WE HATE HAMBURGERS.
Me: It’s basically the same.
MY Kids Wednesday: MEATBALLS ARE SO GOOD.
ME: (Surprised man GIF that used to be super popular on twitter.)
MY Kids Thursday: WE HATE TACOS.
ME: (Slowly becoming the emotion anger from the movie Inside Out.)
Before my daughter got moved to her new room we had to provide THREE WATER SIPPY CUPS A DAY. No, I didn’t write the wrong number. Again, the time they save not filling up the kid’s drinks must be astounding. I bet they use it to sanitize all the rooms and keep the kids from getting sick. Perhaps they spend the time wiping all the kids noses because they are all sick. Do we the parents say or do anything? Nope, we have no choice. This is part of the daycare deal.
Every single parent who has had their child in daycare can relate to some or all of this. The weird rules, the strange food and snack policy, spending tuition money they used to spend on craft beer, a trunk club, and a FabFitFun subscription. However, it doesn’t matter. Parents just have to pay until kids are in school…oh wait then you have to pay for before or after school care.
Win The Weekends 