The Second Shift #Dadlife

Jack (Age 6): I think marbles is Spanish for money.
Me: wait, what?

No matter what everyone tells you, nothing can prepare you for being a father. I’ve played 36 hour poker stretches where I have not slept. I’ve studied all night in college or written term papers for 24 consecutive hours, but nothing is as exhausting as having children. Yes, everyone knows when you have a new baby you don’t sleep much, blah, blah, blah. I’m not talking about that. I am talking about once they become toddlers. “They” say it gets easier, but “they” are stupid. It’s just different. Yes, both my children sleep through the night, mostly every night. However, no one prepares you for that second shift as an adult. No one tells you, you are just going to be tired… FOR YEARS. Don’t believe me? Ask any parent with two small children. Going to work is significantly easier than staying home. Being a stay at home parent is the most difficult job in the world and I don’t think it is close. Why? YOU DO NOT GET A BREAK. It’s like being an on-call doctor only your shift never ends, because at any point you may have to wake up and deal with god knows what. Potty break. Bloody nose. Nightmares. Needing a drink at 3 A.M.  OH THE PLACES YOU WILL GO. I think this Dr. Seuss book was written about being a parent.

When I say second shift I am talking about the time after work when you pick up your children and are at home. As a parent all I want to do is play with my kids, hang out with them, and talk about their day. In reality we have to:
1. Unpack their back pack and lunch for the day.
2. Wash the dishes they used or took to lunch.
3. Get them a snack and drink.
4. Start to prep dinner.
5. Pack lunches for tomorrow.
6. Have kids complete any homework.
7. Throw in a load of laundry. (LIKE STUDENT LOANS, LAUNDRY NEVER ENDS)
8. Cook and serve dinner.
9. Clean up dinner.
10. Run the dishwasher.
11. Bedtime routine for kids.
12. Brush teeth, bathroom, and bath.
13. Pick out kids clothes for tomorrow.
14. Switch laundry.
15. Get kids in bed.

Yes, I would love to play Mario Kart and have a tea party instead of this and of course some days we do. But, it’s not like someone else is going to do this stuff. Thankfully, I have an amazing wife and as a team we tackle all of this. I can’t fathom how hard this must be for a single parent. After second shift ends I am so tired and want to unwind, but mostly end up falling asleep on the couch. That is until the NBA season starts. Then I make it until the late NBA games start. Afternoon coffee is fantastic. Adulting can suck sometimes, but in the end the kids are worth it. (Note, Word doesn’t think Adulting is a word. Webster’s people need to add it next year)

Jack (age 3): DADDY! DADDY! DADDY!
Me: Yes?!
Jack: Dogs have bones okay!

My favorite part of my day every day is when I get home to be with my children. No matter what kind of day I had, they are always so excited to see me and give me a great big hug. That is the best feeling in the world. While some days and moments can be trying I’m just going to enjoy the journey and not get bogged down in the grind that can be everyday life. If you do it’s fine. Just know that you are not alone. Everyone around my age with young kids is going through it, it’s just not fun to talk about or post on social media.  It’s important to have things to look forward to and get excited about, like NFL weekends, or picking your kids up from daycare. Until next time, keep moving forward parents!